Doctors and Friday Night Fun

Our hands were full, too full to take photos but yesterday we went to the doctor for the first time.  We needed to establish their primary care provider to receive referrals to go to Children's.  I really like the primary for them.  She was very compassionate too.  I feel good about this.

She hadn't seen such severe cases personally so she wasn't able to give too much feedback but she was moved and I saw her eyes well with a bit of surprise when she saw Cephas' back and Lucia's too.  She wants us to get to a pulmonologist quickly for Lucia and said she would do what she could to get us to St. Louis very soon. 

Lucia weighs 57 pounds and Cephas 50 pounds.  It is a blessing they are able to eat and not needing IV like many other children who come home. 

And so darn it, I missed getting the photo of their first drive through greasy hamburger experience.  Thank God for bag a burgers at Braums!  LOL

Cephas is enjoying his van rides now and looks around closely.  He is settling in with an ease and our communication is mainly through affection.  I've got great eye contact going with them and they giggle when we don't understand.  They think I make some great funny faces.

Randy went out for some much needed boy time with Holden and Liam.  They went to get some frozen yogurt and to see Iron Man.  We settled in for Toy Story 2 here and then we had a girl time later on.

Lucia got her first facial and mask.  Layers of dead skin came off and she felt fresh! 

Rainan thought I needed to get in a picture too.

Rainan nabbed this great shot of Lucia after her pamperings.  I just look at this beauty and cannot imagine she had gotten used to having her beautiful face spit at.  Oh the things she has shared breaks me.  She is experienced amazing grace, amazing life in the land of the living.  Oh yes, my sweet baby girl.  You are precious and amazing and MINE!!

Cephas kept himself busy while we did crazy girl things.  He rolled and unrolled the rug about 50 times.  He wants to fold everything.

I pushed them to stay up a little later.  They are used to sleeping more.  They were all smiles at bedtime and no meltdowns again! Yay! 

After getting everyone to sleep, this little angel needed some special one on one mommy time.

A little nail polish, story reading, grape eating and snuggling in bed seemed to bring just the perfect refreshment to us both.

God is good.  I am blessed beyond measure.  Every achey moment is so worth it. 

Meeting Music, Animals, and the Dentist

Oh I am trying to catch photos of as much as I can but sometimes I have to be busy doing and the photos don't happen.

Yesterday I decided to get out the box of instruments and see how it would go.  I introduced them to their hands and they both remember how to say hand in English now.  We talked about clapping hands and rhythm and they loved it.  So simple I know. 

We took turns having everyone play an instrument and Lucia was HOT on the maracas and bells! :)  Rainan and Grace put on a little dance for everyone and ended up music time with forming a circle and playing hot potato.  I got one of those that can get wet and is really light so no one got hurt....well Cephas did pelt me fairly good in the eye-  that boy has an ARM!

BUT shortly after our round of hot potato something pretty miraculous happened.......

Remember my boy so terrified of animals and how they would eat him????

As he got braver with Hazel the dog, he decided it was okay to try petting Louise the kitty. 

With this confidence building Cephas got filled with all kinds of lovey feelings and wanted to hug everyone.  And I had to laugh as he reached for Jubilee.   She was totally fine but since she tends to be our whiney and particular one, I found this to tickle my funny bone.  It was good for her.

Grace rushed in to get her hug.  She wasn't going to miss it.

He has lots of opportunities for loves, you can see!

I hated to ruin all of his fun, but the afternoon brought with it, their first trip to the dentist.  Both of them did pretty well.  Cephas began trembling and shaking in terror at the x ray machine so just did a happy visit and he then allowed them to look inside.  NOT GOOD.   Half of his teeth are still baby teeth at 15 1/2 years old.  At first I thought that was good, but the dentist tends to think there is a high chance of that meaning he doesn't have adult teeth below and since we couldn't get an x ray we don't know. 

And Lucia did well too!  Nervous but brave!  She has all of her adult teeth but many are rotted and no chance at an x ray either.  They think we need to wait until going to Children's Hospital to have everything done under anesthesia.

We were so proud of them!!  We built big trust with them.  When Cephas got scared, he turned and called for Mama Tina.  For those trauma mama's out there you know how BIG this is!! We hugged and kissed and he settled down quickly.

On the drive home, Cephas said, "I love you Mama.  Thank you Mama and Papa."  We weren't sure what he was saying thank you for but we think he was feeling good to have had a good experience at the doctors and to have so many encouraging him. 

No big meltdowns at all today!! 

Small Steps Are Big Leaps Sometimes

Gosh the progress is coming so fast that I can hardly keep track of it all! 

Lucia is feeding herself with solids.  If we can put the food on a fork she wants to hold it and put it to her own mouth.  YAY!  She has such sweet manners using please and thank you Mommy.  Cephas is a fine diner too.  He is branching out and trying new things if only a small bite.  Other things he is sure of he wants to eat a LOT of.  We are slowly working him towards eating a small portion of what he doesn't like so he can get what he wants next.  So far it is working nicely.

We had more outside time today.  We discovered the SANDBOX!  It was risky I know but it was so good.   He loved filling his bucket with sand using the shovel and dumping it out over and over.

He called "Mama Tina!" over and over.  As I walked to him from the porch I realized he was throwing sand OUT of the box and all over the grass.  He was so proud to show me what he could make the sand do.  Then he "petted" Jubilee's head with his sandy shovel....she wasn't very thankful though.  Then one more throw and sand got into Rainan's hair.  He was so excited to see what this sand could do he didn't understand why she was upset.  He didn't know that sand in an eye would hurt.  Rainan forgave him quickly and I motioned and said "in" the best I could to keep the sand IN the box.  He settled back into his shovel and bucket routine nicely. 

While enjoying the front yard, Lucia and Cephas were also entertained by twinkle toes Rainan running and jumping in the pool and to watching the garbage truck pick up the trash and the mail lady deliver the mail.  Those are big things!

After a walk around the block (during which time Cephas kept his eye out for every possible animal that might come eat him) we cleaned up and came inside for a long nap in the afternoon.  Perhaps the exciting days and long travels were finally catching up to them.

After dinner we had our first bath.  Yes, I mean that.  He is used to being sprayed down or sponged down but this was the first time he was put in a tub of water for a real bath time.  Can you tell how he felt about it?  He was scared and you can tell from the photo just how tiny he is when you look at my hand next to him.  He wasn't going to have ANY of us trying to distract him with toys.  But he was forgiving and I think we will make progress each time.

He did love his new pajamas though!    We also tried something new with Lucia.  She can't sit up and is so stiff and has her tail bone sticky out sharply just making it so very uncomfortable for her to sit in the tub in any sort of relaxing way.  So, we tried something creative and I got in wearing my clothes and Randy laid her on top of me and she was able to relax more.  She still doesn't really love bath time but she is tolerant and laughs as we try to handle her.  She has an incredible sense of humor and laughs even at herself.  We are still trying to figure out the bath situation.....

We went to bed without any meltdowns and we had a nice little prayer time together.  They went to bed tired and happy.  That's success!

The First Day Home

It's fast and furious! 

Chris Malone our precious friend who flew home with Randy and the kids stayed shortly and then said goodbyes.  So hard to say goodbye to our dear dear friend!!  Lucia cried hard to see him go...  She just cares for hearts so deeply. 

Because the kids are so used to laying down after many years we have been easing them into a more rigorous life.  Just small things like going around the neighborhood for a walk or playing on the front porch is very exciting.  Cephas wants to do so much and is eager but his fear is quite great.  He is scared of so much although he talks big.  He trembles and worrys much.  Mostly that something will hurt him.  He is scared of water except for a short shower.  He thinks cats and dogs will eat him and he is perhaps more scared they will eat his food.  He is scared of being hungry.   We assure and reassure him constantly....    There is just so much for him to learn.  He is a baby in so many ways, and the Lord has just enlarged my heart for him even more!!  He is darling....  He is just the sweetest 15 year old baby I have ever known.  I don't spend too much time thinking on his past although waves and rushes of pain will hit me as I see him push through fear of something so "simple" once again.  He wants to be strong and he is so strong to keep looking for good in the midst of his own fears.  Oh how he tries.  He wants to make us happy...  He wants to please but when his fears overwhelm him, he does have some big meltdowns.  We just let him know that he is okay and have boundaries for him as if he were a very tiny child.  Like a toddler he is curious but doesn't know better. 

We discovered that in his tantrums he will bang his feet against the wall so hard that they broke open and bled.  He doesn't have feeling below his waist so he doesn't understand what he does to himself when he melts.  He wants to be comforted and at other times doesn't.  He is trying to figure it all out.  Oh I am so proud of him.  I know that may be a strange thing to hear but he is just awakening to a whole new world.  I am just so amazed by my boy. 

This was taken right before our first walk around the block. 

 

Once around the block is about all they could handle for the first time.  We got back home and rested on the front porch with some quiet time and a little play.  I think the front porch is going to be the favorite spot.

Uncle Anthony came over in the evening time for dinner and we went on a second walk and then Lucia and Cephas got to see the others try out the inflatable pool.  Cephas kept telling me he did not want to go in.  I assured him he didn't have to.  While he could see they were having fun, I think he thought they were nuts to enjoy playing in the water.  The kids laughed seeing them be silly.

I am doing my best to keep this blog going more for our own memory sake!  These hours fly by and I know how precious they are to remember how far they have come and to count each blessing.  For this reason you will see me post some of the difficult moments too.  Thank God, there is grace for it all! 

 

With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all  Acts 4:33

 

 

WE ARE HOME AND TOGETHER!

So if you have adopted, or even if you haven't, you can imagine the first day home after over a days travel and over 10 weeks away, things are a BIT out of our normal today but I wanted to share some pictures and to let you know that this feels like HEAVEN knowing that Lucia and Cephas are HERE and in their home.

Lucia asked if her bedding was really hers and touched to know that I picked it out just for her.  Cephas is excited to explore and likes his siblings so much.  He still keeps asking about his new orphanage and what groupa he will go into.  He doesn't quite understand his journey is OVER and he is HOME forever so we will be focusing on family A LOT.  Lucia totally understands this is her family and she told us last night that she feels like she is home and it is just as she imagined it to be!!

They are a JOY!!!  We have our hands full for sure and much more to go medically, but our hearts are so so so thankful for their lives and to have them with us.  Our faith has increased even more!!

Cephas wanted me to take pictures of him building his blocks!

This has been really good for Jubilee to see others with greater need than herself.  We are encouraging her to want to help too.

 

First morning together- not too bad!! 

 

I cannot say thank you enough to all who donated to make it possible for Lucia and Randy to ride together in business class.  It made ALL the difference for her!!!  God was so good to them on the way home!  I will write more later but wanted to get this out ASAP.  Thank you to Project Hopeful and Life2Orphans, the Malone Family and Lonnie at Rowland Enterprises for being so helpful and patient with us and for going above and beyond to bless us.   SO thankful to our friends and family who stayed close to us along this journey showing Christ's love through serving us so generously!!

 

We love you!

Court Details!!!

     Lastnight our new friend Natasha came to visit and to pray with us.  She brought homemade goodies for us and we had precious fellowship time talking about the anguish of heart God gives to us for hurting people and for the lost.  It's the greatest gift of God that you can travel across the world, have all kinds of differences and yet when you share Jesus EVERYTHING else melts away.  I dreaded saying goodbye but I knew the Lord had placed her with us in preparation and for refreshment.

     This morning we woke early and learned the confirmation that our nurse would not be able to travel to help bring the kids home.  While we don't have the answer just yet, we have no question in our mind that whatever ends up happening, the kids will be cared for and it will be good.  So we made the two hour drive to court all the while reading the Bible - eating it quite literally.  The Words of His sovereignty, His perfect plans, His power, His justice made us even wince as we thought of life before Him when we lived in our own ideas.   So our first praise was just to thank Him for saving us from ourselves!  What a good and faithful God we serve.

     Court was super official- the most official we've ever had.  Two officials from each district, the judge, prosecutor, secretary and two locals to ask questions if they wished.  I try to be official.  I mean I want to be honoring and respectful.  It truly is my goal but I often begin hugging or smiling or crying or.......  So I just prayed and asked God not to let me do anything in my ignorance and to only let Him speak through me and Randy.  As I sat there looking at the Ukraine emblem over the bench, I made it to be the Cross and I reminded myself of who rules the court.

      One minute in, George's musical ring tone LOUDLY goes off while he is at the microphone and session had started.  I didn't want to start digging through his things and it was quite obviously a distraction so I did what I thought best and took my coat off and threw it over his stuff then quickly grabbed Randy's coat from him and threw it over mine... Layers, you know, help.  Hello!  That thing kept singing forever.  I think I already had them giggling by that point watching me try to stop that thing.  Official Ukraine court - not so many smiles run around there.

(On a side note- I think I am learning I will never get to be one of those really put together looking ladies.  Or if I am I have to hold some sort of Lucille Ball air sort of class.  Are any of you mom's like that?  It would really make me feel better if you would come out of the closet and join me. Thanks.)

     So with that, I was SO thankful they called on Randy first.  And he got the first "Why do you want to adopt invalids?"  He expressed seeing all of his children as gifts and being able to watch Maxim transform in the last two years made him excited to see what is in store for Cephas and Lucia.  He told the judge that he just couldn't wait to get them home and to begin caring for them as they need.  He was bold and gentle at the same time.

     When they called me to stand up and speak I was asked similarly.  I tried to talk but that huge thing that shows up in the back of your throat came first.  LONG pause....and as I am praying for His word to come out, I say "I'm really trying not to cry." (Awesome Tina!)  And so fighting through tears I explained to him that it's really amazing to hear about gifted children and how they succeed with high grades, go to college and maybe even become a judge.  But - we also think its pretty amazing when children who were born without those abilities and were not given any chances to learn and grow, suddenly begin to see themselves in family and able to try new things, and see themselves as successful. I told him, "I will be honored to call Cephas and Lucia mom." 

The representative of the prosecutors office asked one question but for the most part it was the judge who had about 50.  The funniest question was, "What does 3 1/2 bathrooms mean? How do you have half a bathroom?"  The whole place laughed out loud and for the next several minutes his secretary couldn't pull it together.  That just hit her funny bone.  Guess its a goofy American thing.

 "Well it seems that caring for these children takes great work Tina.  Isn't it so, that for a woman this is quite a lot?"   I thought for a moment, looked at him and just said, "Yes." I wasn't going to get focused on the whole woman part.  I got  raised eyebrows with my short answer.  I think he expected me to lay out the list of how incredible I am.  He smiled though.  I think he might have found that answer refreshing.  It was he who quickly followed up with, "Surely your husband helps with the children some?"  And to this, I gushed over how amazing my husband is and told him what an amazing baker he is too.  "Even knows how to correctly fold fitted bed sheets!"  No joke, I said that.  It's on audio filed with officials in Ukraine.  (So for those waiting for the amazing speech of the century, might want to pass on this one.)

    But what amazed us was what happened when the representatives of the districts and orphanages stood up to speak.  Each of them shared stories and personal perspectives that brought tears not only to us but to the secretary and witnesses and  soft eyes from the judge.   One of the inspectors fears when we showed up was that we wouldn't know all that was wrong with Lucia but then we came armed with questions more than they even imagined we could know to ask. They were so surprised that we would know so many problems, be planning for them, and STILL wanted to do this. 

     The orphanage representative shared about how she went to Lucia before our arrival and to explain that some guests were coming shortly to see her about the possibility of adopting her.  She became visibly upset and said no.  The lady told her she didn't have to be adopted if she didn't want to but that when they rolled her in to see us and she saw,  Lucia's face lit up immediately.  Lucia explained to her that she thought "guests" meant strangers but that she knew we were her parents and she had been waiting for us to come a long time. She just didn't want anyone else to take her before we got there.  Yeah, that pulled on some hearts BIG!  So the judge said, "She understands?"  "Oh yes she understands everything. I saw them meet.  It was love right away between Tina and Lucia." He was very surprised that someone in her physical condition could express all of these thoughts and feelings.  So she elaborated.... "And when I go to see her she has three dolls holding hands next to her bed and she named them, Mama Tina, Papa Randy and Lucia."
"She wants to be their daughter."  HOLY SPIRIT CHILLS - Oh did I feel the power of God in those words.

And so when it came to Cephas the judge inquired about his medical condition and if it was true.  "Yes.  It's true."  The judge was just amazed at how severe they were and that they were still expressing themselves.  "Yes Cephas wants to go to America and he calls them Mama and Papa."

There wasn't anyone contesting but a true interest in trying to understand us.  "Between you, who decided to start adopting children with special needs?"   I couldn't help but giggle inside as I told the story of  how we were told Grace was healthy and that when we met her we learned of her special needs.  Grace started it all. God started it all.   

It was a long day but a good day..... turned into a time of story telling, reflection, a TESTIMONY to the goodness of God.  With all our flaws, all of our tears and blubbers and blunders....it was perfect because God is.  Doesn't really matter if Randy and I shined today, God does.  And what He just did today will never be forgotten.

We were able to run by to see Cephas to deliver the good news.... This is what he thought about it!

 

“I will remove from you
all who mourn over the loss of your appointed festivals,
which is a burden and reproach for you.
¹⁹ At that time I will deal
with all who oppressed you.
I will rescue the lame;
I will gather the exiles.
I will give them praise and honor
in every land where they have suffered shame.
²⁰ At that time I will gather you;
at that time I will bring you home.
I will give you honor and praise
among all the peoples of the earth
when I restore your fortunes^[e]
before your very eyes,”
says the Lord.

Zephaniah 3:18-20

Washing Our Hearts - Our Prayer

Our hearts are heavy today.  Not in the sort of way that needs fixing but the way that let's us know we will never be the same again.  It's a good ache.  An ache of truth the arises bright faces; the irony of walking with our Father God.

Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. James 4:4

How much do you love me?  Oh God, we love you!

(The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. John 21:17)

⁵ Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? ⁶ But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” ⁷ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. James 4:5-10

God,
Give us grace to trust you.   Hold tight to us as we walk into places we have not traveled before.  Give us more of your love to see rightly.

   
 Build up forgiveness in us like floodwaters to pour out readily and generously for the words we hear, for misunderstanding, for judgment, for cruelty.  Equip us to display what you would have us in your mercy that those looking in would be drawn to you more.

    In suffering, you brought forth salvation.  In the rejection of Jesus by man, man would be rescued.  So it is our blessing when the world does not understand the beauty you have brought us through adoption.  May Jesus be close to our hearts that the victory of heaven be the first words on our lips.

                                

    Reveal your wisdom through ways unknown to man.  Blow open the doors of steel called LIES that keep your children from hearing your voice.  Wreck the views that have been placed there through tradition and then held there in FEAR. We thank you for the kiss of comfort from the Holy Spirit to teach us an honest and honoring way to respond that will bring peace and glory to your Holy name.

 

And may your name ever be the banner upon our hearts as the one and only God who is good and is faithful and who brings justice in mercy with perfect love.  We praise you that our time here is precious and holy to be carefully contemplated, gently tended and marked as eternal remembrances of a grace beyond compare.

 

Amen.....   

 

Held by a perfect love,

 

Tina and Randy